BEAUTY & THE RICH BEAST

Apple co-founder, Steve Wozniak on the red carpet with Kathy Griffin. This is highway robbery! I'll guarantee you she has gun to his back. How does a guy go out, make billions of dollars and choose to be with a loud mouth beast like Kathy Griffin.

WHEN WILL THEY GET IT?

Rapper T.I. was arrested in Atlanta, GA. T.I. is accused of having his bodyguard purchase weapons for him over an extended time period. His bodyguard got pinched during his latest attempted purchase and he is spilling the beans. In other words, T.I. is Fu(K3d.

Notice to all successful rappers: You were born in the hood but you have money now! Yeah, that green paper isn't just for tossing up in the air at strip clubs. You can actually use it to buy a house in a nice area, where you won't need to buy enough guns to take down Baghdad! Also, once you move to the nice area, leave the trouble makers from your neighborhood where you found them.

It's shocking isn't it. Try it. You'll probably have a peaceful life!

THOSE DAMN BOOTS

Britney Spears entering Neiman Marcus after appearing in court. Of course she's wearing those same sorry @ss boots. I hear they cost her over $1,000 but that's no reason for a multi,multi,multi-millionaire to wear the same hideous shoes everyday.

DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY

The newlywed Pam Anderson on the red carpet at Virgin America Airline's party. She doesn't look pregnant, married or very feminine to me in these pictures.

BUTTER FACE

Richard Branson invited Kyla Ebbert to his party in celebration of Virgin America Airline's first US flight. You may not recognize her but Kyla is the girl who was recently removed from a Southwest Airlines flight for wearing an outfit deemed inappropriate. I'm sure she's a nice girl but she should definitely take a shot at Howard Stern's "Butter Face" contest. In case you're unfamiliar with the "Butter Face contest", it's where girls with good bodies and horrible faces compete pageant style. I call this girl a Brown Bag special.

CALL ME A VEGAN

This video is pretty graphic! Wow, I think I just became a vegetarian. My roommate who happens to be a Vegan paid me $100 to watch this video before I ate my lunch from KFC. He offered another $100 if I could eat my 3 piece after watching. Of course, I'm $200 richer but that's probably the last time I'll eat meat.

NOT AGAIN

If you know Britney Spears please tell her to stop wearing those damn boots. Those things have to stink by now. Here's the uncensored pic, Holy Moly!

TOTAL PACKAGE

I don't know who this guy is but you have to be a bad MotherF$3keR to go to a party dressed like this. There's so much pressure for someone like this to have the total package. You can't possibly show up dressed this fabulous(Finger Quotes) and leave the valet at the end of the night driving a Hyundai. His name is Malik Sterling and he attended the book party for Patrick McMullan.

OPPORTUNIST

I know rehab is very serious but it's the perfect place to meet rich, vulnerable women. Lindsay Lohan is pictured with her new boyfriend, whom she met at rehab and there is no way in a devil's hell she gives this guy a shot under any other circumstance.

WEED MAKES YOU LAZY

Nick Cannon and Miss USA 2006 Tara Conner at the wrap party for MTV's 'Pageant Place'. Is it just me or does Nick look like he hit the Bong one time too many?

43 GOING ON 18

The Backstreet Boys appeared on MTV's TRL in Berlin, Germany. These guys need to get a life. If you didn't save enough money from that bogus run in the 90's, get a real job. Go pass out samples at Ralphs or try telemarketing. Whatever you do, leave the teenage girls alone.

POOR MAN/RICH MAN

The Poor Man celebrates his birthday with a $10 birthday cake. Steve Stolman (The Rich Man) eyes a kilo of caviar in celebration of his 50th.

SHE GETS IT FROM HER MAMA

VH1's I love New York2 began a new season tonight. I don't know who's crazier, New York or her Manly mama?

BEAUTY & THE RICH BEAST

I ain't sayin she's a gold digger but she ain't messin with no broke.... Musician Brian Yale and his wife Sarah attend the 12th annual Andre Agassi Grand Slam for Children event at MGM Las Vegas.

REPEAT OFFENDER

Naomi Campbell attended the Hermes fashion show in Paris. I'll give her less than a year before she B!tch slaps someone else.

THE END IS HERE

October Fest which attracts more than 6 million (Drunks) visitors has ended with the firing of the handguns after a fortnight. If you're looking for new reasons to drink way too much beer, there's still a long football season ahead.

IT'S OFFICIAL

Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon are married! I'll be shocked if they make it 3 weeks.

BEANIE GETS A BAD RAP

Rapper Beanie Sigel is Arrested for the unauthorized use of a rental car. Beanie allegedly rented a Nissan Altima from Payless Car Rental in Philadelphia and kept the vehicle for over 3 months .

Payless reported the Nissan stolen on September 6, even though they continued to charge Beanie's credit card. Maybe I'm wrong but how can a rental car be considered stolen when it's being paid for????

HERE COMES THE BRIDE

Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon are rumored to wed in Vegas this weekend. Rick, before you say I do take a look at the picture I posted called "The Morning After".

There's a good chance it will sway your decision. Lets just say that if Pam's looks were financial documents they would be labeled as FRAUDULENT. You'd be better off marrying one of the girls from the Bunny Ranch.

LIL WAYNE BEHIND BARS

Rapper Lil Wayne was arrested early Saturday morning in Boise, Idaho for being a fugitive. Good Luck Lil Wayne and leave the weed at home next time.

TRANSFORMER

Pam Anderson is what I call a transformer. The pictures are self explanatory.

O.J. GETS HIS ROLEX BACK

In case you missed it, O.J. Simpson was in Las Vegas to get his $hit back and upon his arrest the lawyers for the Goldman family seized the (pictured) Rolex. Unfortunately for the Goldmans this $hit is fake.

The fake Rolex is worth about $100 and must be returned to O.J. Simpson because it falls under an exemption in the civil judgement.

PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF CELEBRITIES (PETC)

Perez Hilton sporting a black eye at the Really Awards. For those of you who hate Perez, you'll be disappointed to hear the black eye is just

make-up.

BEAUTY & THE RICH BEAST

At least he doesn't have to buy her a Halloween mask.

BRITNEY SPEARS LOSES IT

Britney Spears has lost custody of her two sons to K-Fed. Now I wish someone would convince her to lose those lame ass boots she wears eeeach and eeeeevery day.

DOUCHE BAG SAY WHAT?

Audrina Partridge of MTV's The Hills and her boyfriend, Justin Bobby. Her dad must be really proud.

BEAUTY & THE RICH BEAST

Elizabeth Taylor and her new boyfriend. If this guy can date Elizabeth Taylor and keep a straight face, he should seriously consider poker as a profession.

PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF CELEBRITIES(PETC)

Lindsay Lohan is the latest victim of Celebrity Fake Hair Testing. Help us stop this cruel yet usual practice. You saw what Celebrity Fake Hair Testing did to Britney Spears. Contact your local stylist and voice your opinion.

BEAUTY & THE RICH BEAST

Obviously he's The Rich Beast but this wasn't an easy decision! I almost called this one a draw! She was definitely saved by her liquid (filled) assets.

WITH Or WITHOUT

I think we all know which version is better. As a wise man once said, " if you roll in trash you start to stink".

BEFORE & AFTER

For some odd reason the Simpson sisters become complete trolls while dating dorky rock stars. Fall Out Boy is a great band but Pete Wentz is having a negative affect on Ashley's appearance. I'll give this relationship another 6 months. Max!!!

MARK ECKO BRANDS BALL

Clothing tycoon, Mark Ecko launched a website Vote 756 to help him decide the fate of Barry Bond's record breaking homerun ball #756. The votes are in and the ball will be branded with an asterisk prior to entering the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Some call it a noble cause but I call it a
d!ck move. I along with every other logical person believe that Bonds took Steroids but I still think this was a selfish act disquised by an Expensive stab at Barry Bonds.

BEAUTY & THE RICH BEAST

I know based upon the event these two attended they probably have money but there's absolutely no beauty to be found here. I'm forced to call this one a draw. Two Rich Beast!!!!

YUNG JOCK & T-PAIN BRAWL

According to Yung Joc, he and Hip Hop artist, T-pain were involved in a brawl while celebrating his birthday in London. I'll spare you his full quote and simply paraphrase. Young Jock paraphrase, "We was poppin bottles and this chick was hangin tough until her man came over to the VIP. The ho's boyfriend hit one of T-pains managers with a wine glass and I took my chain off because I knew it was going down........... Long story short our bodyguards kicked the guys @ss. Therefore, I have to make it seem as though T-pain and I kicked his @ss so I don't lose my street cred."

Some people try soooooooooooo hard!

PEOPLE FOR THE ETHICAL TREATMENT OF CELEBRITIES(PETC)

Taking pictures of preganant women in bikinis would normally get you arrested but if it's a celebrity, snap away.

BEAUTY & THE RICH BEAST

This one's for the young nerds who can't get laid in a whorehouse on nickel night. I must admit I heard some comedian use that joke but it's still funny.
Nothing levels the playing field quicker than a few million dollars. Keep hope alive.

MISSED TRIAL

The jury is hung and Phil Spector manages to dodge a bullet(unlike his unlucky victim). How the h$ll did these two dumb@sses skate murder charges when they're both obviously guilty?